Love Letters
by doctortorchnatural
Summary: Letters and thoughts from Dean and Cas to one another.


Love Letters

A/N: I came up with this one quick. Set season 7 after Cas has died. Continues on to series 8 and possibly 9. It's basically Dean and Cas thinking about one another and writing down everything. Or, in Cas' case, just thinking it. Warning: Strong language and angst. This is my first published fic, so please be kind, however criticism is welcome.

 **Dean**

 _Castiel_

* * *

 **Dear Cas,**

 **I miss you so much man. I don't know how to tell you. I would pray to you, but your dead, so…. Anyways, I really miss you, and I just want you back. You never should have taken in those Leviathan bastards. They're wreaking complete fucking havoc. We don't even know how to deal with them. I miss you buddy.**

 **This actually made me feel better, writing to you. Might try it again. Bye Cas.**

 **From Dean.**

 _Dear Dean,_

 _I miss you too. I am so sorry I let those monsters lose. I never meant for anything like that to happen. I'll try to come back to you, but I'm really not sure where I am at the moment. This is just thoughts, really. I miss you too, my human._

 _Cas. x_

 **Dear Cas,**

 **Things are really rough. Dick is, well, a dick. He keeps showing up everywhere, and it's so fucking annoying. I really wish you were here to help us. I miss you so much buddy. Come back, please! I can't manage on my own. I've even got your coat still. Please, just come back.**

 **From Dean.**

 **Dear Cas,**

 **Bobby's dead! Dead! That sonofabitch Dick Roman is gonna pay. For what he did to Bobby and you Cas, I swear. This is the last time. I still wish you were here.**

 **From Dean.**

 **Dear Cas,**

 **I'm so sorry that I left you there. I feel guilty as hell for doing that. I really didn't wanna leave you there. I'm so sorry man. I'll come back for you I promise. Once this is all over we can get away somewhere, together, just you me and Sam. Yeah, we'll do that. I swear Cas, I'm coming to get you, just hang in there buddy. I miss you.**

 **From Dean. x**

 _Dean,_

 _Please. get me out of here. I hate it. I can't bear it. Please, help me. Please Dean, please! Get me out! I want to stay with you, to feel safe, and I only feel like that with you. Please, come and get me._

 _Cas._

 **Dear Cas,**

 **Please just hold on buddy. I'll come and get you I promise. Hold on.**

 **From Dean.**

 _Dean,_

 _Please help. I feel like I'm trapped within my own mind. I miss you, but I just don't know how to tell you. Please help me._

 _Cas. x_

 **Dear Cas,**

 **Where are you man? We got trapped here and you just ran off. Why? I need you man. Please, help.**

 **From** **Dean.**

 _Dean,_

 _I am so sorry, please forgive me. It was to protect you, I swear. But please, stay away. It's for your own safety._

 _Cas. x_

 **Dear Cas,**

 **I need your help. I can't survive on my own, I need someone to watch my back. And you always did that.** **Please Cas, help me.**

 **From Dean. x**

 _Dean,_

 _I am so sorry, but please stay away. I love you human. Again, I'm sorry._

 _Cas. xx_

 **Cas,**

 **please. I miss you. Help.**

 **Dean.**

 _Dean,_

 _I miss you. I often wish I was in your company, just so I have someone to talk to or to help me. But I would put you at so much risk. So I can't stay with you. Please, stay safe and stay alive._

 _Cas. x_

 _Dean,_

 _I find myself wishing for your companionship now more than ever. I really do miss you so. I feel so alone, so small. But feeling these things is what I must do to keep you safe, so I will endure. Stay safe._

 _Cas. xx_

 **Cas,**

 **I'll find you. I swear. I'm coming for you, I'll get you out. I promise angel.**

 **Dean.**

 _Dean,_

 _I really wish you hadn't found me. I was trying to keep you safe by running off. But now you're in more danger than you were before. I am grateful for the company but this is not going to end well if you stay with me. Nevertheless, thank you for saving me._

 _Cas. x_

 _Dean,_

 _Just remember this - I love you. Everything I do, I do for you. Get out. find Sam, live a good life, and forget about me. You don't need me. I will never have existed to you if you do as I ask. Please Dean, live a long and a happy life._

 _If not for you, for me. Do one last thing for me. Do this._

 _Cas. xx_

 **Dear Cas,**

 **I will rescue you. I was so close. I won't give up on you.**

 **Dean.**

 _Dean,_

 _where am I? What, I don't..._

 _Dean,_

 _DEAN, DEAN, DEAN, YOU'RE HERE!_

 **Dear Cas,**

 **I'm so glad you came back. Stay this time. Please.**

 **Dean. x**

 _Dean,_

 _I'm sorry, I don't know why I hurt you for the Angel Tablet. Naomi no longer has control over me, I promise. But I cannot bear to look at you, because when I do, I just see what I did to your beautiful face. I'm so sorry Dean. Please forgive me. I beg you._

 _Love Cas. xx_

 **Cas,**

 **Just come back. I forgive you completely for that thing with Naomi. Please Cas, buddy, come back.**

 **Dean.**

 _Dean,_

 _I trusted the wrong person again. I'm sorry. Please let you be okay. I'll find you._

 _Cas._

 **Cas,**

 **The angels falling wasn't your fault. It was Metadouche, I know. I just want you back man. I'll find you and then you can stay where I can keep an eye on you. Seriously buddy, I've lost you too many times. I swear, when we find you, I'll do my best to be best friend you've ever had.**

 **We're coming to get you buddy.**

 **Love Dean. x**

 _Dean,_

 _This is horrible. I want to be with you, not here. Dean, please come and get me. Get me out of here, please._

 _Cas. x_

 _Dean,_

 _Help me please! I made another mistake, but I'm so scared right now. Please help me Dean, please, I'm so scared!_

 _Cas._

 **Cas,**

 **I'm so sorry about what that bitch did to you, it should never have happened. I really didn't want to kick you out, but Ezekiel forced me too. If I had my way you would stay right here with me, safe and warm. I'll come check in on you buddy.**

 **From Dean.**

 _Dean,_

 _I miss you, but at least I know you're safe and happy. I have a job and the people here are very nice. But I wish you were here._

 _Cas. x_

 **Cas,**

 **I'm glad you're settled in and happy. I did not mean for that angel dude to come get you, but I'm so glad he didn't. And nice dad skills! But seriously man, I hope you'll be okay. Call me if you want anything.**

 **Dean.**

 _Dean,_

 _I hope you are safe. I'm sure you probably know of Metatron's plans, but please, stay away from him. Keep yourself and Sam safe._

 _Cas. x_

 **Cas,**

 **I'm so-sorry, man. Seems I - I walked into Metadouche's path. I, I'm sorry buddy. Just, make sure you get him. Please. Just want-wanted to say, that I, ungh, I love you buddy. And I'm sorry. For every-everything. Take care Castiel. Stay safe and alive. And, look-look after Sam and yourself f-f-f-for me. I really do love you Cas. Live well.**

 **Love Dean. xx**

 _Dean,_

 _I love you too. I'll meet you in Heaven. I- I just can't. I can't do THIS!_

 _WHY?! WHY HIM, HUH?! WHY DEAN?! IT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN ANYONE ELSE COULD IT?! MY PAIN WILL NEVER END, WILL IT?!WILL IT?! WELL, I FUCKING WELL REFUSE, YOU SONSOFBITCHES! I DID EVERYTHING, AND THIS IS WHAT I GET?! WHAT SAM GETS?! WHAT **DEAN** GETS?! NO, WE DESERVE SO MUCH MORE! SO MUCH MORE! I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME FATHER?! IF YOU DO, WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?! WHY IS DEAN **DEAD?!** I AM DONE! DONE! I GIVE UP NOW! I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE, ANY OF IT. JUST LET ME DIE AND STAY DEAD, LET ME HAVE NO PAIN! I CAN'T LIVE KNOWING THAT MY ONLY PURPOSE FOR LIVING IS NOW DEAD AND GONE! JUST KILL ME!_

 _I'm sorry Dean. I love you, and I'm so sorry, I know you didn't want me to do this, but I have to. I can't go on. I just can't. Forgive me Dean._

 _Castiel._


End file.
